I See iGlasses in Apples' Future

The blogosphere is abuzz about a new Apple product. But it won't be the much-discussed tablet computer, because that was a misunderstanding when Steve Jobs was overheard saying he wanted, correction: he demanded an (aspirin) tablet. Instead, SJ is finalizing the benediction and polishing an even better, correction: 'insanely great' new product.

I was blind, but now iSee: video glasses!

The crucial advance was not strictly speaking technical but aesthetic; finding a look that was acceptable or even tolerably inoffensive to Steve's and Ive's keenly developed sense of style proved nearly insurmountable. If “less is more”, then nothing is perfect. In the end, the optics and electronics were miniaturized to fit into the 'no frame' style that Steve fancies (picture).

iSee plugs into the iPod and displays video through a stereo vision retinal projection, providing the experience of sitting in front of a huge monitor, and of course stereo sound with earbuds (cochlear implants optional). The iGlasses overlay additional info on the scene, generating an augmented reality (AR). Did you forget that person's name? No problem! It will appear just below their chin. iSee also records continuously through stereo cameras, providing a comprehensive log of daily activity that can be automatically posted on Facebook and abstracted for Tweets. If you find your eyes closing during your next meeting, turn on the eyes-wide-open function that projects eyeballs that blink and even wink meaningfully at more-or-less appropriate times (there's an app for that).

If you think talking and texting on cell phones make distracted driving a problem now, just wait until drivers cannot even see the road through their glasses. Treatments by D&G, Ray Ban, etc in the works.

Cultural Limbo - first in a new series "How low can we go?"

Epitaphic tweets from mini-starlets about a micro-starlet, republished by Time magazine.

Winter Solstice 2009

Beware Stores Bearing Gift Cards

Gift cards are attractive to givers who don't know exactly what the recipient wants. Problem is, many gift cards are worth what was paid, the face value, for only a few months. After that, a 'service charge' can quickly erode the value, often reducing the card to worthless within a year or two.

Can you imagine if your bank charged you for your savings account? That is the equivalent to a gift card. Instead, we quite reasonably expect banks to pay us for the use of our money. It's called interest, and as low as it is, it's way better than losing money.

'Tis the season... for fraud and abuse. Where is an eager young lawyer who wants to get rich and (coincidentally) do a good deed by filing a class action lawsuit on behalf of the millions of people who have lost money to these gift card schemes? Please put the Simon gift cards at the top of the guilty list. The Simon Grift Card would be a better name. Please note that Barnes and Noble does not charge a service fee, so that card your sister gave you (thanks!) 5 years ago and you just found in the drawer is still full value.

My advice (since you asked): give your loved ones hugs and your time to be together. Or give to Heifer or Oxfam in their name so that a family in desperate poverty can benefit. If you must give something material, give cash. Trust them to know where to spend it, or save it.

Health Care Reformation

Millions around the world die from lack of very basic needs. In the US, more people die from too much 'want' (overindulgence) than from too little 'needs'. The Institute of Medicine estimates that over 100,000 Americans die every year from mistakes in US hospitals. Reform must do more than simply ensure that more people can be subjected to the same broken system.

Better yet, let's ban health care, save a bundle and encourage a fitter population. God's will be done. Got a problem with either word: "Christian Scientist"?

No TIME for Responsibility

The Sept 21 TIME magazine had a section on "Responsibility". Typical of this halfwit rag, the TIME poll claims a deceptively-precise 46% think government should "require stores to charge for plastic bags". Of course stores do charge for bags; the real question is who should pay. My grocery store credits 2 cents for each bag brought in, effectively charging the same for new bags but avoiding complaints.

My grocery store also sells me Fair Trade coffee, because nobody should wait until 2015 for Starbucks to 'pioneer' ethically sourced coffee, as touted within the section entitled "25 Responsibility Pioneers". Questioning Starbucks' commitment to corporate responsibility would risk ad revenue, so it was cheaper for TIME to abdicate its editorial responsibility.

Beer: Red, Light, & Blue

Prof: Red Stripe
Pres: Bud Light
Cop: Blue Moon

Red, Light, & Blue. I’ll drink to that kind of patriotism.