Cultural Limbo - first in a new series "How low can we go?"

Epitaphic tweets from mini-starlets about a micro-starlet, republished by Time magazine.

Winter Solstice 2009

Beware Stores Bearing Gift Cards

Gift cards are attractive to givers who don't know exactly what the recipient wants. Problem is, many gift cards are worth what was paid, the face value, for only a few months. After that, a 'service charge' can quickly erode the value, often reducing the card to worthless within a year or two.

Can you imagine if your bank charged you for your savings account? That is the equivalent to a gift card. Instead, we quite reasonably expect banks to pay us for the use of our money. It's called interest, and as low as it is, it's way better than losing money.

'Tis the season... for fraud and abuse. Where is an eager young lawyer who wants to get rich and (coincidentally) do a good deed by filing a class action lawsuit on behalf of the millions of people who have lost money to these gift card schemes? Please put the Simon gift cards at the top of the guilty list. The Simon Grift Card would be a better name. Please note that Barnes and Noble does not charge a service fee, so that card your sister gave you (thanks!) 5 years ago and you just found in the drawer is still full value.

My advice (since you asked): give your loved ones hugs and your time to be together. Or give to Heifer or Oxfam in their name so that a family in desperate poverty can benefit. If you must give something material, give cash. Trust them to know where to spend it, or save it.

Health Care Reformation

Millions around the world die from lack of very basic needs. In the US, more people die from too much 'want' (overindulgence) than from too little 'needs'. The Institute of Medicine estimates that over 100,000 Americans die every year from mistakes in US hospitals. Reform must do more than simply ensure that more people can be subjected to the same broken system.

Better yet, let's ban health care, save a bundle and encourage a fitter population. God's will be done. Got a problem with either word: "Christian Scientist"?

No TIME for Responsibility

The Sept 21 TIME magazine had a section on "Responsibility". Typical of this halfwit rag, the TIME poll claims a deceptively-precise 46% think government should "require stores to charge for plastic bags". Of course stores do charge for bags; the real question is who should pay. My grocery store credits 2 cents for each bag brought in, effectively charging the same for new bags but avoiding complaints.

My grocery store also sells me Fair Trade coffee, because nobody should wait until 2015 for Starbucks to 'pioneer' ethically sourced coffee, as touted within the section entitled "25 Responsibility Pioneers". Questioning Starbucks' commitment to corporate responsibility would risk ad revenue, so it was cheaper for TIME to abdicate its editorial responsibility.

Beer: Red, Light, & Blue

Prof: Red Stripe
Pres: Bud Light
Cop: Blue Moon

Red, Light, & Blue. I’ll drink to that kind of patriotism.

Exxon Mobile Idiocy

You know those commercials where an Exxon-Mobile scientist talks earnestly about how committed s/he is to the environment? While they speak , complicated mathematical formulas and molecules swirl around, intending to convey the ideas (1) this is hard, (2) we are smart, (3) maybe you aren't, and so (4) don't even think about questioning us. Pretty typical corporate propaganda.

Well, a new commercial just came out that is simply idiotic and exposes the core deception. The 'scientist' says Exxon is committed to remove the carbon dioxide 'contaminant' from natural gas, and explicitly states their intention is to reduce greenhouse gasses. But 'pure' natural gas, when burned, produces nothing but carbon dioxide, and water. The primary constituent of natural gas is methane (CH4). It is simple in equation form:

CH4 + 2 O2 → CO2 + 2 H2O. [Bean counters: 1 C, 4 H, 4 O]

Worrying about the trace carbon dioxide 'contaminant' is like worrying about speeding at the Indy 500. It would be laughable if it weren't so deceptive, destructive, and worst of all, deeply, insultingly stupid.